London or NYC?
I have always been a person who thinks too far ahead. I'm an INFP; the dreamer and idealist who is always imagining the future and what my life will be like. I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life in London, and I do, but with the visa restrictions it's looking like a near-impossible feat, one I used to be unafraid to take on. Now, I'm starting to worry about setting up a life for myself in London that might be cut short if I get deported, leaving all that I own and started putting together in a foreign country I can't go back to. I've always seen myself as someone who will live a nomadic life, but am starting to wonder if I should settle down in New York City, which is in the country I actually have citizenship in, and work towards finding a company that could eventually transfer me back to my beloved England.
This is a weird thought to me though. I came to the UK to do my MA for a reason; so I could ultimately end up staying permanently. So to give up on getting a work visa seems like sort of a waste. But at the same time, I don't think spending 10 months or a year living in another country is ever a waste of time. In less than three months, I've already experienced amazing things, and know that with the rest of my time here, I'll have a huge list of things I can say I've done. London and New York City are two of the most thriving theatrical and artistic cities in the world, and I'd be happy to get a fabulous job in either one of them. But one seems like it's taking the easy way out, while the other will be something I have to work hard towards, but will ultimately feel rewarded for in the end if it works.
I get stir-crazy and bothered if I'm one place for too long, and even London is starting to make me feel like that, which I had no idea would happen. It's not from lack of things to do, but maybe an impatience to start my life. As much as school gives me a fairly easy life (classes three days a week, and unlimited free time to roam the city and/or watch Netflix), I actually miss working and having a job. But while I'm a student, the most I'd be able to work is 20 hours a week, which is suitable for an internship, but I am past the stage of working for free or doing grunt-work. I want to have that 9-5 public relations job that keeps me waking up each morning, ready to do my publicity thing. But with my school schedule and visa restrictions, I can't get a job like that until September 2015.
So now I have a few options. I suck it up and wait 10 months until I can find a full-time job in London, hope they would have all the requirements needed for me to switch to a work visa, and then pay a bunch of money to ensure that I can stay in the UK for at least another year. I can just take advantage of the time I have in London and use my visa expiration date (January 31, 2016), to keep me here until I'm sent away. I could turn in my dissertation next September and then head off to NYC to find an apartment and a job and hope someday I get to move back. Or I could move to NYC in June when my dorm housing contract is up, and finish my dissertation from abroad, while starting a job in my chosen field. These are basically what I've got. Although, who knows? Maybe I'll change my mind and end up doing a working holiday in New Zealand.
The point is, I have a few ways I can go about this, and plenty of time to decide, but I am so impatient and wish I could speed up time and get to the next thing, which is horrible, because I should be enjoying the present and what I'm experiencing now. It's hard being an INFP and always looking forward, which is both a curse and a good thing. I know what I want to do in life, I just sometimes can't focus on what is happening in the moment when all I can think about is what will happen down the road. I just don't want to be seen as the girl who went to London, gave up, and came back to the US because it was easy. But no one sees me that way, except me, so I need to realize that moving to New York City isn't a failure, but just another crazy step in my list of decisions I've made for my future.